When to Use Who or Whom: Complete Grammar with Examples

Use who as a subject and whom as an object, and this simple rule answers the query right away. Many people search for “when to use who or whom” because both words look 

similar, sound formal, and often appear in questions, emails, and writing tests. Even native speakers feel unsure, so mistakes are common. This article removes that confusion clearly and step by step.

 You will learn the core rule, the history behind who and whom, British and American usage differences, common errors, real-life examples, and professional tips. By the end, you will know exactly when to use who or whom with confidence.

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When to Use Who or Whom: Quick Answer

Who is used as a subject (the doer of an action).

Whom is used as an object (the receiver of an action).

Simple Test

• If you can replace the word with he/she, use who.
• If you can replace it with him/her, use whom.

Examples

• Who is calling me? (He is calling.) ✅
• Whom did you call? (You called him.) ✅

❌ Whom is calling me? (Incorrect) ❌ Who did you call? (Informal but common)

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The Origin of Who or Whom

Historical Background

The words who and whom come from Old English pronouns that clearly showed case subject and object forms. Earlier English had many case endings, similar to modern German.

• Who = subject form
• Whom = object form

Over time, English grammar became simpler. Many object forms disappeared, but whom survived in formal English.

Why Confusion Exists Today

• Spoken English often drops whom
• Modern speakers prefer simpler structures
• Formal grammar rules still teach the distinction

So, while whom is correct, it sounds old-fashioned to many people.

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British English vs American English Spelling

There is no spelling difference between British and American English for who and whom. The difference is in frequency and formality, not spelling.

American English Usage

• Who is very common in speech
• Whom is mostly used in formal writing

Example (US):

• Who did you talk to? (Common)
• Whom did you speak with? (Formal)

British English Usage

• Whom appears slightly more often in writing
• Spoken English still prefers who

Example (UK):

• Who are you waiting for?
• Whom are you addressing in this letter?

Comparison Table

Feature	Who	Whom
Spelling (US)	Same	Same
Spelling (UK)	Same	Same
Spoken English	Very common	Rare
Formal writing	Common	Preferred

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Which Spelling Should You Use?

For US Audiences

• Use who in conversation and casual writing
• Use whom in formal emails, reports, or exams

For UK & Commonwealth Audiences

• Follow the same rule
• Whom sounds more natural in formal contexts

Global or ESL Writing

• Use who for clarity
• Use whom only when you are sure

Professional advice: If clarity matters more than formality, who is acceptable in most cases.

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Common Mistakes with When to Use Who or Whom

Mistake 1: Using “Whom” as a Subject

❌ Whom is coming to the meeting? ✅ Who is coming to the meeting?

Mistake 2: Avoiding “Whom” Completely

❌ Who did you hire? (Informal) ✅ Whom did you hire? (Formal)

Mistake 3: Confusion in Embedded Clauses

❌ She is the person who I met. ✅ She is the person whom I met.

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When to Use Who or Whom in Questions

Direct Questions

• Who wrote this report?
• Whom did you contact?

Indirect Questions

• I know who called.
• I know whom you called.

Tip: Look at the verb inside the clause.

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When to Use Who or Whom After Prepositions

After a preposition, always use whom.

Examples:

• To whom it may concern
• With whom are you working?

In spoken English, people move the preposition:

• Who are you working with? (Common but informal)

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When to Use Who or Whom in Relative Clauses

Who in Relative Clauses

• The teacher who helped me was kind.

Whom in Relative Clauses

• The teacher whom I thanked smiled.

In modern English, whom is often dropped:

• The teacher I thanked smiled.

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When to Use Who or Whom in Everyday Examples

Emails

• Who is responsible for this task?
• Whom should I contact for support?

News Writing

• The woman who won the award thanked her team.
• The official whom the report criticized resigned.

Social Media

• Who else agrees with this?
• Who did you meet today?

Formal Writing

• The candidate whom the board selected accepted the role.

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When to Use Who or Whom: Google Trends & Usage Data

Search trends show that “when to use who or whom” is a popular grammar question worldwide.

High-Interest Countries

• United States
• United Kingdom
• India
• Pakistan
• Canada

Usage Insight

• Who dominates spoken English
• Whom appears mainly in legal, academic, and formal writing

The decline of whom in speech explains why confusion remains high.

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Comparison Table: Who vs Whom

Feature	Who	Whom
Grammar role	Subject	Object
Replacement	He / She	Him / Her
Spoken English	Very common	Rare
Formal writing	Common	Preferred
Example	Who called?	Whom did you call?

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FAQs About When to Use Who or Whom

Is “whom” still correct in modern English?

Yes. It is correct but mainly formal.

Can I always use “who” instead of “whom”?

In casual speech, yes. In formal writing, no.

Is “to whom it may concern” correct?

Yes. It is a standard formal phrase.

Why does “whom” sound old-fashioned?

Because spoken English no longer uses object forms often.

Is “who did you talk to” wrong?

Grammatically formal English prefers whom, but who is common.

Do exams still test “who vs whom”?

Yes. Many grammar tests expect the correct form.

Can “whom” be removed from a sentence?

Often yes, especially in relative clauses.

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Conclusion

Understanding when to use who or whom is easier than it looks. The core rule is simple: use who as a subject and whom as an object. While modern spoken English often ignores whom, it still plays an important role in formal writing, academic work, and professional communication.

British and American English follow the same grammatical rule, with only small differences in frequency. If you are writing for exams, official emails, or serious publications, using whom correctly shows strong grammar skills. If you are writing casually, who is usually acceptable.

The key is balance. Know the rule, understand the context, and choose the form that fits your audience. With the examples, tables, and tips in this guide, you can now use who and whom accurately and confidently in any situation.

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